Relationships have a fairly massive range in terms of types and depth. Spouses, friends, relatives, customers, colleagues, and bosses all share a type of relationship with people they come in contact with. Many times, these relationships can be surface level or can run very deep.
Whether surface level or deep, however, each person displays a certain level of commitment to the relationship. When both people are committed, the relationship has a better chance of being healthy. When one or both people are not committed, the relationship suffers.
If we were to put this into a simple formula, each person is responsible for their 50% of the relationship. It is impossible for a person to commit more than their 50%! When one person tries to make up for the lack of commitment by another, it almost never ends well. Anger and resentment often lead to exhaustion as one person tries in vain to make up for another’s lack of commitment to the relationship. They try to add 60 or 70%, but they can’t.
If this idea frustrates you, take heart! Like so many things in this life, you have only partial control…so take your half and be great! If you are in charge of your 50% of a relationship, make it a work of art.
With your 50%, connect. Understand the other person. Listen. Empathize. Show them you care. Make it so appealing that other person can’t help but want to do a better job with his or her 50%.
Which relationships are you good at, and with which do you struggle?
What is it that makes some relationships difficult?
What are the triggers that send you down a negative path with certain relationships? What type of thinking might help you deal with such triggers?
Be well!
Chuck Ross
John Maxwell Certified Coach, Trainer, Speaker, and DISC consultant
Author: Change? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?
530-277-6161
“They themselves are makers of themselves.” James Allen
